Posted on: Thursday, September 30, 2010
Posted on: Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Posted on: Friday, September 24, 2010
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here.
Posted on: Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Posted on: Thursday, September 16, 2010
But I have been thinking, since just after my birthday, that I needed to go on a short journey early one morning. I need to bring paper and pen and spend time somewhere outside, jotting down intentions for myself. And then I pretty much got sick right away and have spent every spare moment since then sniffling and coughing and resisting the tightening pain in my chest. Sleeping as much as I can.
I've just had it in my head for a long time that 31 is not going to be a good year for me. 32 will be my year, I declared. Then I got to thinking about the folly in that, setting out to believe that just because I am facing a certain set of obstacles, a set of less than convenient or ideal circumstances, that it will be a bad year. Why? So that at the end of it I can say, "Well, I knew it," and revel in that grim self satisfaction?
So 31 will be a good year. Maybe even GREAT.
I had a conversation with my husband where he said, essentially, well -- it's hard when X, Y and Z aren't in order. And I realized today that X is going to create a whole other set of problems.
And I thought, who cares about X, Y and Z? We should be cultivating joy in our daily lives REGARDLESS of X Y Z.
I'd like to get to a point where joy is something I carry around with me, a consistent thing, and not something influenced by the evil machinations of the random factors that can push and pull us in any direction. Life pushes at us from all over. At any given second something can happen to yank us down, pull is an abrupt left turn, or even subtly shift us toward point B.
Posted on: Monday, September 13, 2010
This is the tail end of the cold, thank goodness. I have the ability to weather a cold and feel like I'm dying, to just feel utterly bleak and miserable throughout the duration. But today is the day of clouds parting, of doors opening, of light streaming through windows. I feel more motivated than I have in all of a week. Who knows, maybe I'll clean something at the house today. Maaaybe.
It helps that yesterday was a day of rescuing snapping turtles from a busy road, cleaning up the kitchen, hot dogs and burgers on the grill, fresh mango, flawless bedtimes, and later, tiramisu and wine and good season finales on TV. Yesterday was also the day that I finally finished The Book Thief, and it is seriously the best thing I have read in forever. The end had me sobbing. Such a beautifully told story.
Plus, on Saturday I rediscovered Kimya Dawson's album, Alphabutt, more specifically the song "Happy Home (Keep on Writing)" and I listen to the "just make sure your life's exciting" refrain at the end and it makes me think of my girls. It fills my chest with that expansive sense of hope and possibility. Their lives can be anything. Why do we grow up and stop thinking that? That our own lives can be anything? My own life can be ANYTHING. Say it with me: My life can be ANYTHING.
Posted on: Thursday, September 9, 2010
Posted on: Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Posted on: Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Posted on: Thursday, September 2, 2010
the rain itches
its cold way
a stitch of cloud
in and out of silver
out of silver,
blue and gray
she steps streets,
this moving day
now here again
she steps streets,
she swims a
through a story:
psalm of a